Certifiably Certified

Just over a week ago we had our graduation ceremony for our third term of the 2012 teaching year. Students from various classes were being honored for advancement to their next level of English classes. Advancement is based on grades (students must have better than a 70%) and attendance (students must attend 80% of classes). Every semester, without fail, there are students who, after seeing the “prestige” of the ceremony, ask for a certificate when they didn’t earn one. The look of bewilderment on some of the faces as you tell them (gently) that they are not getting a certificate is pitiful. Now, I know it sounds cold-hearted, but students are reminded of the rules throughout  the semester and are told at the end of classes (days before the ceremony) whether they passed or not. So the bewildered looks never cease to give me a slight inner giggle. If you were told Thursday that you did not pass this does not change by Sunday. I always feel bad though, but this graduation, I contemplated a deeper meaning for this situation.

Let’s start by looking at how and why students fail. Students fail due to lack of understanding of the material (not reaching 70% on assignments or tests) or not being present and able to participate in the assignments based on absence (missing over 20% of classes). Whether the person is absent or does not understand the material, failure in the class is not always failure. The fact that someone does not understand material and must take the class again is the way life should be. To be passed on to another level without comprehension or skills to complete things that are easier is a detriment to the person and can be a road to confusion and failure in the future. Also, if a person cannot prioritize and put the time and effort in to being in class, regardless or life situations or motives, there needs to be a repetition of the process. It’s ok if you had a rough time at work, that’s understandable, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t need to go through material and practice what  you missed. The merit of someone’s word alone is not enough to determine true understanding of the entire semester of learned topics. The only way you can know is if the person is present during class and has grades to correspond.  Missing the 10 vocabulary words each week alone can make missing class hard, let alone when harder topics are missed.

Why then did I feel bad telling people they didn’t pass when they hadn’t earned it? They hadn’t been cheated. I think seeing the face of someone feel they’ve failed or grasp for the tactic of pretending in front of their friends that they thought they should pass shows me how much it’s not about the skills learned or not learned but how they look to others. When in reality, it may be a success that they were able to learn anything in the class or that they were able to attend what classes they did. This phenomena of wanting things we haven’t really worked for to achieve (even with good intentions) is cross cultural. The feeling of failure is so feared that we are willing to pretend, cover up our faults, make excuses and even demand something we have not earned. We are willing to be promoted in public even if it means we are out of our league in the next stage in life, work or education. We are willing to risk going deeper and deeper into a lie, bad habit or a demanding attitude if it means our feelings are spared.

Those who are wise know that crisis produces change, good things take time, and growth isn’t overnight. So, though it would be easier to not follow rules and give everyone a certificate, following the rules teaches a much more valuable lesson than our words ever could; quite frankly, I’m afraid of a world where certificates of sorts are given to undeserving people. Those who truly succeed are the ones who need no certificate for motivation, but happily accept the accolade on their path to excellence within or accept the correction or other successes that come from not passing their class. So my compassion for the bewilderment and pleading in students’ eyes will and should still be present, but now, remembering it may be perceived “failure” I see in their eyes, I will feel compassion for the heart of someone still performing for a grandstand audience rather than an audience of one.

 

A class of students who will be moving on to the last level of intermediate English before the advanced level.

 

Three brothers keep success in the family and  prove that hard work and commitment pay off.

 

Learning Center teachers and staff at graduation.

 

Without Tracks

         I’ve found myself being deterred, derailed, and defeated by situations recently. That feeling of doing all that you can behind the scenes yet crashing in plain sight for all to see. It’s like that horrific feeling of trying to use your steering wheel but the engine has shut off and the absence of power steering leaves you with gritted teeth and sudden weight to pull while traffic zooms all around you. I’m there. I confess, I am usually the “little engine that could.” I huff, puff, and cheer my way to top of most situations. This is a great quality to have most days, but I’m learning a new lesson here, what to do without any tracks. I’ve found myself looking at situations that would normally be simple hills to climb (in America) that turn into issues here. My life I lived with certain resources and capabilities changed with culture. I knew this, but you can’t really know what this looks or feels like until you experience it for yourself. Chefs are not the same here and there. Schools are not the same here and there. Banks are not the same here and there. And as I found out more than once the past four months, graphic designers and printers are not the same here or there. Let’s take that a step further and realize that people, processes, and time are not the same here and there. Faith, hope and encouragement are not the same here and there. Furthermore, the acquisition of faith, hope and encouragement are not even remotely the same here as they are there. That’s hard. To live your whole life with certain challenges being larger than others, then to see a small challenge before become a big challenge elicits feelings of incompetence, frustration, and questioning in me.        

         In these moments where I feel inferior and even scared at the perception others may have of me or the repercussion of not meeting expectations, it becomes crucial that I survey my surroundings and learn from the situation. Recently, I’ve learned that I have been the “little engine that could” in one place, but this place, Cambodia, doesn’t have train tracks. It’s not conducive to my former vehicle. I need to shed the tons of steel that keep me harnessed to my track and save them for a better time and place. I need to embrace my inner moto (Cambodia’s main mode of transportation, similar to a scooter). After I practice the “bobbing and weaving” of moto navigation on this unpredictable road, things can change. And for a person who struggles with change, this has been a long time coming.

Blessings,

Ciara McDonald

 

 Prayer Requests: Children, farm, rainy season flooding and good health. Also, for positive outlooks. Thank you for supporting us in whatever way you do. We can feel the support (literally) when we're doing work. Love you!

On the loss of a friend, but the gaining of an ally

We're getting ready to lose one of our team members in Siem Reap as she moves to another part of the world. I was thinking about how we will miss her and the implications of the start of departures from our team. After she leaves we lose another team member around a week later, then Ryan and I are next in December. Thoughts about half of our team being gone and separated sparks thoughts that branch in many directions. Not only do I think about the possibility that some of us may never get to meet up again and trying to be okay with whatever happens, but I also think about how I will feel when we leave. When losing anyone, whether in death or distance, there is a sense of selfishness; this thought about self that says, "but I need them." This thought we create where we put a person or thing we lose on a pedestal and think of a few good moments, freeze them, and lament the fact that this frozen moment can't happen again. It's natural. But there is so much validity in moving on from the loss and seeing any purpose. The loss is usually beyond our complete understanding of "why" because we are human and cannot know or understand all (though we think we should and we try).

When I push aside all of my selfishness surrounding loss, I see the importance of having allies. When someone leaves you distance-wise, they are still "for" you. You are still "for" each other. You become allies on the same team, for the same cause, with the same heart. You are just farther apart in distance. You
know that if you needed help, the person would be there. They would rally their troops and help in any way needed. You know that if you were ever out of your element and needed help from their new resources that you would have what you need on the double. That assurance is almost more valuable than your resources and reaches more people. Your perspectives increase without even having to do anything yourself. Your knowledge of people, places, and things changes.

When we lose people to death we can also gain. I think of all of the things those I loved left behind. I think of the efforts their life produced that were passed on to me. The good things that are now ammunition in my arsenal of life. There are things that I could not have gained through their life either, but in their death I was able to face crisis and come out a changed person.

So... this week and next, as we lose two team members, we gain irreplaceable allies. We know that through distance there will always be a connection and through change we will be strengthened in our battles.

Amy and Sreila- Amy is moving to Sri Lanka 

Amy helped me devise and pull off a surprise birthday party for Ryan when we first got here. It was a piece of home that he needed, and her sweet spirit was shown to me more than ever at that time. 

Isaac will leave in a week to go back to the United States. His heart will lead him to help people no matter where he is. Ryan has loved having a good friend here. They have worked hard together on the farm. 

As I hear the ticking of the clock while typing, I can’t help but remind myself that there is a soft tick that signals my life’s time is going by. And for me, this thought always reminds me that life is short, and rather than focus on the ticks of time I’ve wasted and lost or wonder how many I have in my future, it reminds me to stay present.

If we are truly living in the present we don’t worry about our tomorrows or our yesterdays. We don’t live in glory days of old or pine for new days where glory is possible. We live in our moment and know that what we do today produces change, good or bad.  So, what we do now in honest and earnest servant hood can define and alter the lives of others.

Deadlines or expectations we place on our lives for marriage, career goals, financial success and more can strip us of our ability to be present and mindful of others. This does not mean we cannot have goals, but how many times have we put deadlines on our lives and then worried about making that deadline?  Whether deadlines lead us to overstress to the point of doing things over and over again for perfection or they lead us to put decisions off or procrastinate, unnecessary deadlines we place on ourselves can lead to disappointment, feelings of failure, and loss of time in life. What were we really supposed to live during those hours?

It’s never too late to rethink our approach to living life, to be present. I want to be the person who hears the clock and is thankful, right then and there, for that very tick. The sound that signifies life is still within me, and the whispers of the oppressed still have one more ear trying to hear what they need.

-Ciara

Ketchup: "We forgot to blog and now it's time to ketchup" :)

I’m not quite sure what to blog about; we do so much in so little time that when large amounts of time go by, I don’t know what to talk about. We have lots of what appears mundane but is integral in the process of systemic change. We moved this week. We had some issues with utilities at our last place and moved into a new place for a few months to save on rent/ utilities. It’s going to be a great workout because it’s up three flights of stairs. Suzanne Somers will have nothing on our master thighs.



First term graduation for the Common Grounds Learning Center



Ryan is working on the farm (not just visiting or assessing) for his first time today. He was so excited, and I know he will love it. He’s really been working hard to generate ideas for sustainability and working hard in advance to be able to discuss implementation. He’s so passionate about affecting the cycle of poverty by “teaching a man to fish.” If you’re familiar with that adage then you understand the stance that a skill “hand out” is much more effective than a traditional “hand out.” There will probably be more to come on this topic from Ryan. Actually, I will assure you there will be more to come. He really loves talking about and imparting information about what is going on with this topic.

As for me, I am excited to get our computer back. It has crashed multiple times and is on the brink of destruction. Even after being “fixed” it still shuts down and gives us blue screens. We’re looking into raising money for a hard drive to save all of our work. Then if it crashes we are not out three years of work and recent work for PCL. Praise God for his blessings in resurrecting the computer though! I’ve been able to use it to work on a project for common grounds, Skyping with family, updating the blog, and starting lesson plans for this next week. By the way, happy late Mother’s Day to any of our mothers out there. We love and miss you all (dads too).



Taking a break from jewelry



Last week we both started a new term of teaching classes. We also helped with F.L.A.G. week (forever learning about God) at a local school. It was a busy two weeks of planning for F.L.A.G. week, the first week of classes, doing diagnostic testing with students, decorating classrooms (which reminds me I left one bulletin board slightly unfinished), and then actually teaching both classes and at F.L.A.G. week, and moving on that Friday. So it’s been rowool (busy). J

Got to do jewelry (like we always do) yesterday (Sunday) afternoon with the girls at the children’s home. What they make gets sold and all the money goes towards their college. So that’s fun just to be there with them. We’ve done it every Sunday (minus holidays) since late February. So it’s been a staple.

 Other than that, we are just trying to figure out how to kill all the ants in our new place and times when we will have water to take showers. We’re praying for you. Special prayer requests going out this week to a Christpoint Church, Cross Point Church, and all the mothers out there. Renee McDonald and family is in the front of our minds all the time. Also, want to say thanks to Lynnville Friends Church for the continued partnership and Lynnville Church of God for the “I’ll-never-be-able-to-forget” Skype experience. Congratulations to Julie Martinez for the completion of her doctoral course work! We’re proud of you. Until next time.. –Ci and Ry

This is a blog I wrote last week. :) Be blessed.   

             With major holidays happening in Cambodia and the US, I have been thinking about the implications. The United States just celebrated Easter and Cambodia will celebrate Khmer New Year over the coming weeks. I think there are valuable things we can take from both cultures that can help others around the world and even our own humanitarian efforts. When thinking about the significance of Easter in one culture, I see the emphasis of a new life and a second chance at living life. I see the same theme in Khmer New Year. A new year, a new cycle, and a chance to be something different. Isn’t that a desire of every heart at one point or another in our journey?

                The fact of the matter is, as humanitarian workers and partners, we are aiming to make this new life possible in others. We desire to create a hope and a future for people. Through circumstance, whether poverty, loss, or unhappiness, the possibility to start fresh seems like cool water in a dry desert. Thinking about this opportunity, my question to myself was, “Why is it easy to offer others a chance at a new life but hard to embrace the new life that makes its home in front of us daily? Why is it so much harder to grasp our own new lives?” My answer is this: We sometimes feel that because we have put ourselves into these situations we must endure them as a consequence. Or…  We were put into situations beyond our control or comprehension, and since we have no control over them, “Why try and change them at all?”

                It became apparent to me that if we want to break cycles of poverty around us, we have to break the cycle of poverty inside of us, however that may look. We have to embrace new beginnings and know that today is not just another day, but a day to be new, fresh. If we want to create systemic change, we must change our own system. Hope for others is possible, but how can we give hope if we are devoid of hope inside? The same concept goes for grace, love, etc. Inspiring hope and empowering potential; we can change this world, starting with ourselves.

This week I will celebrate a new year and new life. Will you celebrate with me?

-Ciara

April  9, 2012

Video of Cambodia so far in a nut shell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifFSAFEApDo&feature=youtu.be

The Carriage of Asia

This is the most recent blog written. Ryan wrote it for PCL in Cleveland, TN. You can visit the link or read below for the blog. :) http://peopleforcare.org/2012/03/the-carriage-of-asia/

Hello All, my name is Ryan McDonald and my wife and I moved to Cambodia at the end of January, and I would just like to say that nothing makes me feel more at home than the smiling face of a tuk tuk driver. Yes. You heard me right. The times when I feel most at home in Cambodia are at 7:45 in the morning when I walk out onto the street to head towards the Learning Center to teach my 8 am English class and I’m greeted by the bright sunlight of the morning and the bright smile of the tuk tuk driver from across the street. Every morning without fail he grins a warm, inviting smile and waves as I cross the street to say hello. He knows very little English and I know very little Khmer, but that hasn’t stopped us from forming a friendship in the 2 ½ months that I’ve been here.
In case you are wondering what a tuk tuk is… I’ll explain it to you. Imagine for a moment a carriage, but smaller and closer to the ground, instead of being boxed in by doors and wooden panels it’s open aired with only minimal supports for the roof and without any kind of safety features. Instead of four wheels there are only two, and instead of a horse pulling at the reins it’s a motorbike- A really small motorbike usually. But it is the preferred method of transit for most tourists, and so there are hundreds of tuk tuk drivers throughout the city always asking if you need a ride or offering to take you to the temples tomorrow….
There may be hundreds of tuk tuk drivers, maybe even thousands, but it only takes one to make me feel welcomed into Siem Reap every morning. I for one think that we should all find our own personal “Cambodian tuk tuk driver.” That one thing that you can look forward to every day that makes your current residence feel like home regardless of where that might be… Find the one thing that can start your day off right and cling to it…
Good luck finding your “Cambodian tuk tuk driver!”